My Personal Adoption Story, Installment #1: The Follicular Follies

4 Sure-Fire Ways to Add Stress To Your Life

1.  Get engaged after a ten-month courtship

2.  Plan and execute a fairy-tale wedding fours months later

3.  Raze your house and raise a new one, six months after wedding

4.  Try to get pregnant at age 42

I found out I was infertile at the dermatologist’s office.

            I was 42 years old and three days away from my first married Thanksgiving.  Bill and I had gotten married in April  - the first marriage for both of us - and we were two months into building our dream house on the beach. The only thing I had found to worry about was a tiny patch of thinning hair around the left side of my forehead. My dermatologist, suspecting an iron deficiency, had prescribed a daily dose of iron for eight weeks to increase my ferritin level and stimulate follicle growth. After taking the iron for two months, I sat in her office to discuss the results of my recent blood test.  The lab hadn’t faxed over the results, so she left the office to call the lab. While she was out of the office, a secretary entered and handed me a piece of paper.

4 Ways to Make it Seem Like You Actually Showered in Between School Drop-Off and Pick-up

1. Plan ahead by wearing gym clothes in the a.m.; this is, of course, a ruse.
2. Put on a brightly-colored top and shiny lip gloss for pick-up time.
3. Arrange your hair in a differently: pony in the a.m.? Headband in the p.m.
4. Accessories; the louder the better to detract from your ablution neglect.

7 Things I Can Do During One Episode of Dorothy the Dinosaur

1.  Rummage through closet for a baseball game outfit

2.  Clean said closet

3.  Piece half-decent outfit together; mash potatoes

4.  Try to remember how to apply make-up

5.  Make mental note to buy make-up made in the 21^st century

6.   Clean old, cracked make-up off floor and sink

7.  Clean toilet bowl and tub while I’m at it

First of all, no harm can come from Dorothy the Dinosaur. Short episodes (12 minutes), bright colors, lots of song and dance, and great themes. And Cricket loves it. I used to pride myself on all that I could accomplish during one "free" minute. I remember telling my grandmother what a good multi-tasker I'd become since becoming a mother. Her response was, wisely, "Don't crowd yourself."